Don't Lay Hands, If You Can't Hold Space -- Pt1: When Mentorship Goes Left...

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I used to crave mentorship--real, intentional Spirit-led guidance. Not just "watch me from afar" kind of stuff. I was searching for someone to walk with me...to cover me...to guide me...to see the call on my life and help shape it. I wasn't looking to be mothered. I have a mother. I have mother figures. So, I'm good there.

What I was looking for was a sacred, intentional connection...a trusted guide that could help me steward the next version of me--creatively, purposefully, and spiritually...someone who could handle both my oil and evolution.

And I thought I found it. Twice.

These women weren't strangers. They were women I looked up to, powerful in their own right, influential in both professional and spiritual spaces. Maybe they weren't church leaders by title, but they had the clout, the connections, and hell, let's be real, the charisma that gets you invited in certain spaces and seated at specific tables. I admired them deeply. I believed they could help steward what God was doing in me.

What I got instead was silence. Emotional whiplash. Being poured into one moment and then ignored the next. No real conversation. No explanation. Just vague apologies, dry distance, and that now famous excuse that I hate so gotdamn much: "Life be life'ing."

And nah...fuck that!

Life is life'ing for every-damn-body and can not be an acceptable rationale for matters of the heart. This wasn't a scheduling conflict, it was a spiritual mishandling.

And this happens more than we talk about...especially in environments influenced by church culture. We glamorize mentorship like it's a vibe...like it's trendy. But TRUE mentorship is weighty and when done wrong, it doesn't just disappoint...it damages!

When you open your heart to someone spiritually...when you let someone speak to your calling, your creativity, your identity...when you open your life to someone in that way, you're not just handing them access, you're entrusting them with assignment...you're not just asking for guidance, you're trusting them with your becoming.

So when they drop the ball...when they fumble that...it hits much different!

Too many people want the title without the time; they want the optics of mentorship without the cost of showing up. 

Now listen, I TOTALLY get it...Life really do be life'ing; but mentorship isn't about perfection, it's about presence and if you don't have the capacity to show up...to commit...then sit this one out because when people lay hands without knowing how to hold space, they don't guide you--they mark you.

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