LivingOutLoud

 After all that disappointment, I sat with a lot of questions: Was it me? Did I ask for too much? Am I just unworthy of that kind of support?  I wasn't looking to be mothered. I didn't need to be coddled or raised. What I needed was partnership...guidance...someone who could see the call on my life and help sharpen it without trying to shape it into something more convenient or palatable for them.  But instead I was dropped. And honestly, the shit hurt...BAD! because I deserved integrity.  But here's what God showed me: they weren't the covering I needed because I wasn't supposed to be covered, I was being carved. The letdowns were never about rejection. They were about refinement. God wasn't just exposing them, He was exposing what I believed about myself. He was showing me what I believed about myself. He was showing me where I still tied my worth to the proximity, approval, and the idea that I needed someone to co-sign my calling. Being letdown didn...

I used to crave mentorship--real, intentional Spirit-led guidance. Not just "watch me from afar" kind of stuff. I was searching for someone to walk with me...to cover me...to guide me...to see the call on my life and help shape it. I wasn't looking to be mothered. I have a mother. I have mother figures. So, I'm good there. What I was looking for was a sacred, intentional connection...a trusted guide that could help me steward the next version of me--creatively, purposefully, and spiritually...someone who could handle both my oil and evolution. And I thought I found it. Twice. These women weren't strangers. They were women I looked up to, powerful in their own right, influential in both professional and spiritual spaces. Maybe they weren't church leaders by title, but they had the clout, the connections, and hell, let's be real, the charisma that gets you invited in certain spaces and seated at specific tables. I admired them deeply. I believed they could h...

Raising a child alone?... Ha ! This is NAWT the story I asked for or the one I dreamed about. But, this is the story that found me and I'm learning that I was built for it. Being a single mom isn't some badge of honor I wear to prove strength; it's actually a badge I want to throw off a bridge at least 3 times a week. 😅  Being a single mom is a reality I live, breathe, and cry through. Some days, I feel like SuperWoman. Other days I'm barely making it through the damn day and then there are the days where I'm somewhere in the middle--exhausted, but thankful! I've come to realize that I'm not just surviving this, I'm becoming through it. Motherhood didn't water down who I am, but it deepened me...sharpened me. And even though I do this without a partner, I'm not doing it without purpose. Motherhood didn't just make me a Mommie, it reinforced that I am, indeed , a fighter...a truth-teller...a legacy builder. I am, for certain,  not the woman...